So I did explode. I flipped out last night. I feel bad because I yelled, but other than that I am just so done. I can not believe I bent over backwards to help someone who is clearly ungrateful. I mean I have spent a lot of my time helping her and I am being treated like shit. I have been so busy, and not once as she offered to help me. I feel like running around screaming. The tension in the house could be cut with a knife. I haven't had to live in a situation like this for years. I can not believe that I got myself into this. Honestly, what was I thinking? I must have been crazy to invite her to live with me, and offer to help her when as far as I can see I just had the hardest year of my life and not once has she done anything to make it better for me. She doesn't even ask me if I am OK. Now I realize I am ranting again. BUT WHAT THE FUCK.
So the question becomes, when do you let your boundaries down for someone? Clearly this lesson is a hard one for me. My counsellor thinks I need to learn how to say things like I am sorry this is happening to you. AND THEN DO NOTHING AFTER. Don't offer to help. Do nothing. I have not mastered the art of not over extending myself. I am juggling so many balls in the air and I still am offering to help her. I need to learn to say no. Do other people have this problem with no? What is my problem? Will people really not like me if I say no once in a while? What am I so afraid of? Really.
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