Feeling guilty about feeling down

I am mid move. So I am exhausted. The things I have accomplished in the last couple days would include working full time, taking possession of the condo, hosting an Ikea building party and doing the building, dealing with painters, packing, getting boxes, running to the brick, going to Rona, PACKING..... the list goes on and on. The funny thing is I just want it to be Friday night. I want to be in my bathtub with a glass of wine, a box of chocolates and a good book. Then I want to crawl into my bed, rent Sex and the City 2 on my pay per view and fall into a deep, comfortable sleep. I have been living in chaos for over a week now, sleeping on the ground, having my stuff packed around me. By the way it is always the last items that get you. It is the things that you really have no idea what to do with so you don't pack them at first, and then it is all you are left with at the end. Very frustrating. I am sitting in my room, on my mattress, on the floor, drinking a diet coke and contemplating what I have done. It is weird, every time I visit the new condo I feel this sense of... OH MY GOD I OWN THIS! I want to be excited, and part of me is very excited. Then part of me feels like, I wish D was here to share this with. It feels very strange to have bought a place, to have made such a giant leap to building my own life without him. I miss him. I miss having him to share my dreams with. I think I am building a beautiful home. A place worth sharing. I sometimes, with all my heart wish he was still here to share it with.
As I was taking my bed apart the other day with my friend, I came across a box from our last Christmas together. It just was the wrapping paper, and the card that I wrote him. But I remembered writing it and believing every word that I said. I loved him. And wanted to make it work. It was our best Christmas together. Our most romantic. I wept for everything I had lost. It was so hard to see how confident I was that he loved me back.
I guess I have never been good at change. I am still not. I have made so many changes this year.... and so many of them have been good. It is just hard to feel only excitement about this move, when I feel like a very large part of me isn't coming with me this time.