The current challenge - March
I have challenged myself not to make a decision about calling him, texting him, writing him or contacting him at all whether it is to have that final conversation or yell or cry for at least a month. On March 18th I can evaluate this again.Ok so it is now March 19th and I still am not ready to talk to him. I feel like I miss him, and would love to have some answers but somehow know that I am not strong enough to do this yet.
March - April Challenge
I am challenging myself not to talk to him for another whole month. To give myself more time to heal and feel stronger before deciding to talk to him!
Ok so it is April 18th and I still have not talked to him. I can't bring myself to call or write him even. I continue to do nothing. Still waiting to gain some strength I guess. This month has been tough but slowly getting easier. Not as many moments devoted to him and/or the pain.
April - May Challenge
I am not sure how I am going to handle this month yet. I still do not want to speak to him. So maybe one more month. I do not want to commit to that though because I feel like it might be time to deal with it in some way. Like write a letter or something.... Not sure. Maybe I should just challenge myself to spend even less time thinking of him. Spend more time focusing on myself and remembering who I actually am. Update May 18th.
I still haven't done anything with this although I have recently written a letter. I managed to think of him less but when I am thinking of him it is hard. More time I suspect is necessary.
May - June Challenge
I am going to send D a letter and perhaps open up a dialogue with him in order to try and get some closure. I am not sure how this will work because if we do start talking it will change how I heal. Right now I can just focus on me and never worry about what he is doing or how he is reacting to this. I need to continue moving forward but I also want to deal with this.
Yet again I have not been able to write him. I have really been focusing on myself though. More and more time is given to feeling better. I yearn way less but I have yet to directly contact him.
June - July
I am going to write D before the end of the month. I want to give myself some closure. It will be good for me to try and close that door or at least work towards feeling like things are finally over.
