Tomorrow it will have been a year. I made it a whole year. I am struggling against a cold. I am exhausted. I am happy most of the time. I have new friends. New men. New mistakes. I think the hardest thing is that I might be finally getting over it and letting go. I know that sounds strange but I feel like if I let go of D all that we went through, all that love that I felt will be gone too. It just makes my heart ache. But I remember what I felt like a year ago. I couldn't even be left alone with my own thoughts. I would cry for hours, wake up screaming. He broke my heart and it hurt so much. I felt like I couldn't breath and I wouldn't make it a day, not to mention a year. So a kudos to me.
Now to be perfectly honest, I am not sure how I am going to deal with tomorrow. So my plan is to meet up with a friend after work. Drink my face off and smoke until I can't talk. Then I am going to find the cutest I can and kiss him. I am going to dance. I am going to sit on a beach and watch the sun go down. I am so much stronger than I ever was before.
Congrats on a year darling. You are a different person than you were a year ago but you are still you. I am so incredibly grateful to have you in my life.
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Thank you! That makes me feel so wonderful. Having you in my life this year has really gotten me through some very tough times. xo
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