I very recently had my heart ripped out of my body. I know everyone says that they have been there... this is nothing new. But it is new to me. And it has been horrific. So I am going to attempt to write often about how I am going to get back my happiness. Get me back. Because I found out recently you have to keep breathing, and that you don't die from this.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Run to Rome
For the first time in a long time I feel the need to run. I am feeling unsettled. A deep wave of nervousness washes through my stomach. I wish I felt differently, that I didn't have the urge to run away from the trouble that is brewing. So I have talked recently about a mistake I have made. The wrong man again. I have mentioned that I stopped the chaos and made the right decision. Now I am living with that decision. I know in my heart that I made the right decision. I just wish for once that someone that I was interested in was the right guy. Well that is not necessarily the whole truth. The truth is that I am still around this guy all the time, wanting him from near. And the worst or most tempting part is I can tell he wants me too. So the urge to run grows. It would be so much easier to take a month, scrape whatever money I can together and go and rent an apartment in Rome. Just hide amid the history and the food, the men. The men are easy to hide with in Rome. Who doesn't love walking down the street, only to hear how beautiful you are over and over. Men there may be more aggressive, but they also show more chivalry. Long dinners, scenic walks, roses, hands, wine, stolen kisses, a sonnet just for you (and every other tourist woman who falls for it). Knowing all this I think Rome might just be the cure. So I sit in my apartment and dream of the run. The run to Rome.
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