I'm on Fire

OK so what if you go a whole year thinking you are building yourself back up... that you are fighting to get back to the person that you used to be. Only a better version of her. What if you make promises to yourself... like I will never be that girl again. I will never hurt myself again. I will never go back to him. I will never. I will never. Then on the year anniversary of your life changing moment. The day you got off the road that was leading to Miserytownship and got on to the road of Happyville, you decide enough with the happiness that I was feeling and you make a decision so similar to the way you used to be. To the person you used to be. Does that mean everything that you did that year is null and void? I want to be a better person than I was. I want to be a woman who knows what is good for her and does it. I want to be a woman who lives by the mantra "is this a decision a woman a loves herself would make?". Instead I think I am a woman who doesn't want it bad enough. Or hasn't faced the real reason why she makes the bad decisions in the first place. Hours and hours of therapy, thrown away.
Yes I am feeling a tad defeated. So I play I'm on Fire over and over again. Trying to think this out. At least I know this for sure, I love Bruce Springsteen. Bruce do you want to go out with me? Oh wait, I am doing it again.