Its all because of you.

I am listening to the Cher Heart Of Stone album. Low point or high point? The fact that I am asking this is probably indicative. I went shopping again today. This time I bought an "I want to have sex" dress. It is a dress than could not be more boobies if I tried. (and I will!) But I thought what the hell? I am single. So I might as well do this. I am also getting my hair done. So it will be new hair, new dress, new attitude.
I was telling my therapist about my hook up with S... the law student and how it was good but that's all that I wanted. I just want them to shut up and fuck. The men in my life right now. If you could even called them in my life; these are men I don't really want around. I am sure S is a nice guy. Actually seemed really interesting because when I finally asked him about his life and things he is interested in we ended up talking about a paper he wrote arguing against male circumcision. I don't know how I really and truly feel about this topic, but I know for sure I do not feel as passionately as he does. He compared it to female genital mutilation. Anyways this is not the point I am trying to make. The point is the guy is interesting. When he stops kissing for a moment and we talk its pleasant. And while I am there I forget. But then I get home and I remember. I can feel the way D kissed and remember how easy it was to talk to him. And the sense of safety that I had, however much of a facade it was. And then I can not possibly have the energy for the S's of the world. I am hoping this tiredness fades. Just like Jesse James. haha