Girls weekend the sequel?

Girls weekend. Otherwise known as life rejuvenating time with your friends. Recently I did a road trip up to the Shuswap with a girlfriend. We got to listen to all the classics (Dangerous Minds anybody????) and just chat about everything. We were meeting two of our other girlfriends at a cabin on Shuswap lake and for three glorious days and two wonderful nights I got to be authentic 24/7. I got to sun tan topless, and swim naked. I have to say there are very few people I let see me naked at all, and the list is even smaller for those who get to see me naked in the light. Somehow though I feel like a better version of myself around them. Like they do not possibly harbour the horrible thoughts that I have about my own body image.I get to lose the neuroses I have about being me. I also got to dip my feet in the lake and stay present in the moment. I fight so often with myself to not be run over with my own thoughts. Thoughts of him leaving. Thoughts of his betrayal. For a brief period in time I got to be present. It was lovely.

We managed to blend drinks till our heart was content, eat complete junk and talk and talk and talk. Two things that came out of all that talking for me was 1) I am really not OK with this whole baby/abortion/betrayal thing. I can not seem to make piece with my decision. Its like a raging river that wants to burst out of me. And 2) I talk about D too much. He is in my narrative. He is a part of my story. I need to begin to remember the story without focusing so much on the fact that he was there for it. I am making my own story and he is not the main character. Turns out that he doesn`t even have a starring role.
I hope that over the next few months I can begin to focus on moving forward. I am not sure if that means finally dealing with D by either contacting him or going to talk to him in some way. It will also mean trying to enjoy my summer to the utmost either by camping, or beaching it up or just hanging with friends or family. Good meals on my patio. Digging in the dirt and planting beautiful flowers. Kissing boys? Reading great books with a good glass of wine. Picnics in Beacon Hill park. There are so many better ways to spend my summer than pining over the man who broke my heart.