The life not taken

We talked rarely of things that we actually wanted in the future. I mean we would talk of fantasy trips, and waking up together every morning. We talked of things like children. We both wanted many of the same things. One thing that was are hearts desire was to own a cabin somewhere on a lake where our kids could play on the dock. Where our friends could come to BBQs. Where there was a boat and some beers and the good life. I think we may have talked of this twice but I could tell it would fill D with longing. I spent the weekend with my girlfriends in the Shuswap (which I will discuss at a later post). I was sitting there looking out over the lake and thinking about all the things that we are never going to have. It made me miss him. I know that many people think that I am missing the idea of him but it isn't the case. I miss talking to someone who truly understands everything about me. Who can't wait to ravage me because I am so beautiful to him. Someone who would make me feel safe in his arms. I miss that. I wish ........... well I was going to say I wish that things were different but I guess that would be obvious.