Sweet Dreams are made of this....,

A dream has power to poison sleep.  ~Percy Bysshe Shelley, "Mutability"

Sleep should be my escape but instead as of late I am haunted by my dreams, or should I call them nightmares? I dream of him being so cruel to me and I wake up crying. I sit right up and cry. That is not a great way to start the day. In my pathetic-ness this morning I clung to my dream, it was so vivid and he was so real and I didn't want to wake up from it until we had solved our problems. It was insane. He kept moving from room to room in a house I had never been in, saying horrible things to me and leaving me in his dust and I just kept searching for him. Now if this doesn't tell you all you need to know about how fucked up our relationship was, or how absolutely crazy I was I have nothing else to tell you. My therapist says it is good that I am having these nightmares and that I am subconsciously working things out. This is a positive step. Unfortunately my mind does not just shut off the images when I am awake and so my dream echoes throughout my day and I am forced to try and keep as busy as possible to hide from my own mind. Perhaps my dreams are acting as my free therapy. God knows I need some at over a hundred dollars a session D and my catastrophe are paying for my shrinks retirement. Freud too put a lot of scruples into dreams. I don't think he was so far off in that they tell us something, as my dream so blatantly was yelling at me last night. But what does it mean when I can do nothing to resolve the turmoil in the dream? When the panic I feel to talk to him in the dream just becomes my reality in the morning. I am at a loss. I often think if I just talked to him maybe it will change the entire direction my life takes. The question is will it be positive or negative? So Disney, if dreams are a wish my heart makes what the hell am I wishing for?