If you build it they will come.
I have spent a good portion of my life building my home into the home that I want to share with someone. A few moments ago I was staring at the empty side of the bed. The night table that has now accumulated all of my stuff. Like the books I am going to read, right after I get through the pile on my side. The new retro alarm clock from Ikea. It is so dusty over there. I was almost choking on it as I wiped off that lamp. So I am sitting there, feeling quite sorry for myself when the thought occurred to me "if you build it they will come". For all those hopeless romantics out there who enjoyed the movie Under the Tuscan Sun it is like the advice the realtor gives the main character. "They built train tracks through the alps before there was a train that could make the journey". Am I building a life before there is a man to make the journey? That is supposed to be what this time I am taking to heal and rebuild is all about, creating a life I want to live. But every time I think of this life, I don't picture it alone. It seems like a temporary stop. Unfortunately I have not gotten over the image of him being the person who fills that life. I hope that will pass. Perhaps I should just take this moment though, and take pleasure in the fact that I am building the life I want. Making my house the way I want it, buying the clothes I feel pretty in, treating myself to extra dirty vodka martinis, indulging in Ikea..... because maybe in the end I won't feel like I need a man to make the journey. I will be able to do it all by myself.
Link to buy Under the Tuscan
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