Happy Birthday

In chronicling this heartbreak and hopeful healing I have come to at least one truth. You do not get over something like this in a day. There will be set backs. Like his brother's baby being born. Or his birthday. There will be days so low that even my counsellor does not have a helpful suggestion. This is today. Its pretty low. Not the lowest I have ever been but pretty close. I was actually looking at my building at work today while I was walking towards it and thought if I jumped would I die. It was fleeting but it happened. I am still hopeful though that I will see the other side of this. So Happy Birthday. Trust me it didn`t just pass me by.