Blisters from the road less travelled by

I dreamt about him last night. It was so real and it made my heartache. I woke up realizing I would never speak or hear from again. I am still in complete devastation and shock over this. I can not understand this for the life of me, he was such a different person to me. Always trying to protect, telling me how much he cares.... OK ENOUGH. No more wallowing today. I think I am just sad today and busy replaying all those things that he said and did in the last little bit. I trusted him so blindly that it never occurred to me that he could be lying to me or setting me up. My therapist said if he was lying to his wife why wouldn't he lie to you? But the truth is I thought I was special to him. That we were special. I don't think that he was lying that whole time, I just think that when push came to shove he couldn't or wouldn't man up to take responsibility for the situation. It was so much easier to push me under the bus than to deal with it. I hope every little thing reminds him of me. What I don't understand is how can she live with knowing that he can't help but think of me sometimes? I guess the same way that I lived with knowing that she existed.
So my friend is walking me to work again tomorrow. I don't know if this is a good idea but I keep going with it. It doesn't hurt me that he is nice to me but unfortunately it might end up hurting him. Is this a decision a woman who loves herself would make? I don't know. I guess I will have discuss this with my counsellor. I think it is crazy how different my life is in a matter of less than a month. I would never picked this road if I wasn't forced on it. What do they say about the road less travelled? Well so far I have blisters from my new shoes, a broken heart, and a lot less money due to the new clothes I have felt it necessary to buy. I have gained a sense of survival at whatever cost, I don't live for the next text message anymore, and my anxiety about him leaving me is gone. I would have to say so far the easy road is winning. I will keep you posted though.